The NLP Presuppositions

Context makes meaning.

A large dog comes up to you in the street. Your reaction will be determined by factors like:

• The expression on the dog’s face
• Whether or not the dog is wagging its tail
• Your past experiences with dogs
• Whether or not you like dogs
• Whether or not you know this dog

If this is your neighbour’s dog and you love dogs, you will likely be quite pleased. If the dog is growling and you are terrified of dogs, you might be more likely to run away!

All of our experiences are interpreted by the lens through which we perceive things. This lens is shaped by our experiences, beliefs, values, current state, environment, and almost any other factor you can think of. And, this lens will quite likely be different for each situation.

Every behaviour has a possible positive intention or impact.

Try seeing the best in people. Believe that they have some sort of positive intention behind their actions. If a co-worker is unusually nice to you, think, “What a great attitude!” rather than, “I wonder what they want?”

The positive intention might not always be conscious or even intentional. Perhaps this event is intended to be a learning experience. Perhaps this event happened so that you could help someone else grow and learn. Try to see the silver lining in life.

Transforming the way you see the world can also transform how you respond to people and react to situations. Who knows, it might just be infectious!

People always choose what seems to be the best choice to them, although their choices may be based on faulty data.

This is a variation on the above theme. Instead of thinking that people are unintelligent or selfish, assume that they did the best they could in the situation, with the tools that they had. However, remember the saying, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always got.” Try to learn from each situation and grow with each experience.

Everyone is unique, so there is an infinite number of perceptions of reality. There are no right and wrong answers, only what we think is right or wrong.

Everyone has their own way of experiencing life and seeing things. Understand that your map of the world is not the only map, and certainly not the right map. This does not mean that we have to tolerate rudeness and discrimination, but it does mean having the ability to say, “I disagree with you, but I still respect you as a person.” It means accepting differences and viewing them as valuable.

Although you can’t control the world, you can control your actions.

This presupposition means taking responsibility for the responses that you receive. If you’re not getting the desired response, then it means that you need to find new strategies. It means seeing problems as an opportunity for growth.

The world is systemic, and therefore so is change. This means that the only way you can change others is by changing yourself.

NLP presupposes that the body and mind are one system, so changes in one area always affect other areas. (Physical ailments caused by stress are a good example of this.) Similarly, we are all parts of the world’s system.

So, for example, if you want to have more energy, you might choose to eat better. Or, if you want people to treat you with more respect, you might choose a more open outlook.

Real choice requires at least three options.

Yes/no questions don’t offer real choice and growth. Use collaborative NLP tools to think of win-win options. Work with people to achieve desired outcomes rather than forcing people into a position.

We are constantly communicating and influencing by what we do and do not say.

We are always broadcasting our thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and reactions through our verbal and non-verbal language. These signals influence others and their reactions to us. It’s up to us whether we want to manage those signals or leave them up to our unconscious. (Needless to say, NLP is all about managing the messages we send to others.)

People have the resources within themselves to solve any problem and deal with any situation.

Every problem is solvable! Look within yourself for resources. You’re stronger than you think you are! This means, of course, recognizing when you need help and asking for it. John F. Kennedy Jr. once said, “Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.”

It’s not a failure if you learn from it.

Things will not always turn out as you expect them, but that isn’t always a bad thing. Many inventions were accidental, including penicillin, Saran wrap, Vaseline, chocolate chip cookies, the microwave, Teflon, blue jeans, and LSD.

Doing and experiencing means understanding.

NLP is a model of experiencing and doing. For example, identifying that great athlete’s train for four hours a day isn’t enough to achieve excellence. You must identify their exact steps, their context, their thoughts – in other words, the entire system and strategy behind their excellence. Then, you can put yourself in that model to start on the road to excellence.